Booth, Brennan, Hodgins and Cam head to the wake of Hank, a coworker at the Jeffersonian Institute. The man apparently died of cardiac failure. Cam, in the meantime, worries Michelle is smoking. "I've been her legal guardian for a month and I'm already a total failure," the new adopting mom says.
The team arrives at the wake, where they observe Hank's rich stepmother, stepbrother Barney and young, pretty assistant Amy. Brennan pays her respects and immediately notices something astray. "This man was murdered," she whispers to Booth. B&B step outside and Brennan explains the man's ribs are broken. Worse: He's scheduled to be cremated that very day! Brennan then proposes a daring plan: steal Hank's body. "You want me to take him out of here?" an incredulous Booth asks. Exactly. Booth does not want to use murder so 'translated' is now the code word for murder. She tells Booth to try and get an injunction so they can delay the cremation.
Inside, Hank's wife, Helen, swirls wine while drunkenly toasting her dead hubby. Booth and Brennan, meanwhile, let Cam in on their suspicions. Apparently, Bones moved Hank's clothes to the side to take a picture of his chest with her camera phone. Cam is quite shocked and Bones tells her they think he was 'translated'. Cam is confused until Booth explains their new code word. Cam says there is no record of bruising in the autopsy report. Brennan points out corpses don't bruise. "So Hank was alive after he was declared dead?" Booth asks. Exactly.
Brennan and Booth go to see the undertaker and discover him making out with the widow. The undertaker denies foul play, saying the dead man received the bruises due to botched CPR -- they aren't buying it. Later, Hodgins is in the middle of toasting Hank when he notices Booth and Brennan dragging the body across the lawn! Hodgins starts to stutter as he realizes what they are doing. He finishes his speech by throwing his glass on the ground saying we have not loved enough. The pair drags Hank into the back of their car Weekend-at-Bernie's style. Booth stays behind to make sure no one looks in the casket while Brennan and Cam take the body back to the lab in Angela's Toyota Matrix.
Back inside, Hodgins explains the situation to Angela -- and then interviews Amy, who appears smitten with our bearded lab man. Amy describes the last time she saw her boss alive. "He had a lunch meeting," Amy says. "Sushi." Unfortunately, Amy doesn't know who the good dead doctor lunched with on the afternoon of his death. Angela, meanwhile, is disgusted (and jealous) to see Amy paying such close attention to Hodgins.
Angela goes to the room where the body is being kept. Booth is there guarding the casket so no one tries to see the body. Angela asks what is going on when Hank's stepmother comes into the room. She wants to see Hank. Angela proceeds to explain the undertaker who took care of Hank's body did not graduate at the top of his class. Hank's nose has now moved to the side and his hair.... "His hair looks like Hitler's". =-) The stepmother freaks out, appalled. Hank's brother comes in but is shooed out by the stepmother saying Hank is looking like Hitler. Booth gets a call Brennan and Cam who are examining the body. "He was stabbed," Cam observes. But it gets even stranger. Hank apparently did suffer a heart attack -- and was declared dead before being sent to the undertaker. "Where he was stabbed to death?" Brennan asks. Back at the home, Booth confronts the undertaker. The flustered man admits to stabbing the body. But why? Turns out Hank's eyes sprung open and the doctor freaked. "It was a reflex!" the undertaker, Franklin, says. "I was scared!" "Watching all of those zombie movies can really change you." So was Hank really dead? Or was it just a form of paralysis that mimicked death? Cam runs a test, which involves taking fluid from the dead man's eyeball. The results: the doctor wasn't dead when he was accidentally stabbed. And that's not all. "Someone else poisoned him first," Cam explains. "So, technically, Franklin committed manslaughter," Booth explains. "Somebody else committed attempted murder."
Brennan returns to the home. Outside, Angela uses the computer in Booth's car and discovers a substance that could have been used to poison Hank was ordered and delivered to the Jeffersonian just a few weeks ago. The name on the delivery list: Dr. Jonah. Booth and Brennan confront Jonah. Not surprisingly, the doctor denies all knowledge of the murder, explaining Hank was his "best friend." Hodgins then points out the Puffer Fish produces a similar toxin. And didn't Hank have sushi on the day of his death?
Booth and Brennan head to the sushi joint. The female manager explains she doesn't have the license to serve such a fish. More helpfully, she says Hank ate lunch with a woman. "She told him something and he got very upset," the manger says. "She had a haircut like Cleopatra." Brennan and Booth head back to the home. They ask Sweets to find Hodgins, go to the lab, and then bring the body back before anyone notices.
Inside, Booth slyly puts the moves on Erin Miller, the estate lawyer ("I can be devastatingly charming when you're not around," Booth explains to Brennan), who happens to sport a Cleopatra haircut. "It wasn't a very pleasant lunch," Miller says. She explains Hank's stepmother is very sick and Hank and his stepbrother Barney were the heirs to her fortune. Back at the lab, Cam has examined the contents of Hank's stomach and determined the man did NOT die from eating poisoned sushi. Hodgins says if lunch didn't kill the man, perhaps breakfast did. Interestingly, Hank's amorous wife mentioned earlier the deceased was served tea for breakfast. Hmm. Hodgins, Cam and Sweets then hustle the body back to the home. The only problem: the trio unwittingly leaves the dead man's glasses behind.
Cut to the home, where Brennan interviews stepbrother Barney. The man seems genuinely surprised to learn he will inherit all the money when mom passes -- as if he had completely forgotten. Just then, Helen begins mixing it up with Hank's assistant, calling the younger woman "Hank's skank." The two are about to start a full-blown cat fight when Booth steps between them. "He wouldn't want us to fight!" Booth says. "He'd want us to sing!" Booth then begins leading the assembled mourners in song.
The sing-along allows Cam and Sweets to sneak Hank back into the building. Meanwhile, Brennan and Hodgins are in the kitchen frantically looking for the substance which turned Hank into a zombie. Sure enough, the dynamic duo discovers just such a poison in the man's breakfast drink. "Hank Reilly was killed by a cup of tea," Brennan says. Cam, meanwhile, has to take quick action when she hears the body's glasses are missing. She slips on a pair of sunglasses -- and no one notices the difference.
Brennan and Booth interrogate Helen at the kitchen table. She insists she never made tea for her husband, as the two weren't exactly on great terms. "Hank did it himself," Helen insists. "Hank was very particular about his tea." Later that night, as Booth, Brennan and Cam drive back to the Jeffersonian, Cam once again expresses her concerns about Michelle smoking. Booth wisely suggests Cam should stop puffing and perhaps her adopted daughter will too. Brennan, in the meantime, has hatched a plan: the team will offer tea to all the suspects and see who refuses to drink. "Genius," Booth says. Exactly.
The next morning, Brennan interrupts the graveside service. "Hank Reilly specialized in Egyptian embalming rituals," she explains. "Hank would appreciate nothing more than the most common of funerary practices: the raising of a glass." Booth and the team pass out glasses of steaming tea. Barney is about to drink when his mother slaps it out of his hands. "No!" she screams. It was the stepmother! Turns out she poisoned Hank so her true son Barney could have all her money. The stepmother had originally planned to get around the will by siphoning money into a separate trust for Barney but his lawyer found out and told him as it was illegal. Desperate to get her son the money, the stepmother then murdered him, which she confirms by telling the lawyer "if you kept your nosey trap shut, Hank would still be alive." She blames her husband for what she did and tells Booth to go ahead and arrest her, knowing she's dying anyway. Case closed.
FIVE DAYS LATER. Brennan, Booth and Barney stand over the stepmother's grave. She didn't last long after being arrested. Brennan explains the stepmother poisoned Hank with her own heart medicine. "Then she died because she ran out of her medicine killing him," Barney sighs. This is not how he wanted to obtain his mother's money -- as much as he could use a windfall.
Brennan and Booth walk away from the grave, sharing an umbrella. The latter makes the former promise she will visit his headstone once he has passed. "Just make sure when they put me in the ground, I'm dead," he quips.
- Temperance Brennan - Emily Deschanel
- Seeley Booth - David Boreanaz
- Jack Hodgins - T.J Thyne
- Angela Montenegro - Michaela Conlin
- Camille Saroyan - Tamara Taylor
- Lance Sweets - John Francis Daley
- Franklin Tung - Kelvin Yu
- Helen Reilly - Kathryn Meisle
- Anne Reilly - Ellen Geer
- Barney Reilly - Matt Malloy
- Amy Valeska - Mandy Sigfried
- Erin Miller - Ryan Michelle Bathe
- Jonah Amayo - Dale Godboldo
- Traci Nishimura - Kazuri Aihara
- Hank Reilly - Charles Dougherty
This is the only episode where there are no remains. The body is still whole, as a result of funerary embalmimg, which is done to make the body presentable.
- Sweets: Grief can be very difficult to process so if anyone needs to talk...
- Booth: That's why they have booze Sweets.
- Sweets: Right.
- Angela: While I'm here mind if I erase a few parking tickets?
- Jonah: And now you've managed to insult an entire culture and their belief system.
- Booth: She does that to everyone.
- Sweets: I may have told him [the killer] that murder's nothing to worry about. I.. I didn't know.
- Booth: Oh that's great! If you want to help, go find Hodgins, bring him back to the lab, get the body and get it back into the casket without anyone noticing it.
- Sweets: Wait, what? Why?
- Bones: So the poisoner doesn't figure out what we're up to and run away.
- Sweets: There's a poisoner and a stabber?!
- Sweets: Wow. He's really dead.
- Cam: That happens here in the autopsy room.
- Hodgins: And bud someday you'll have your last lunch too.
- Sweets: The thing is they don't usually look like people after you get your hands on them.
- Cam: Thank you, so much.
- Sweets: He still has a face! And he's smiling. A bit too much maybe.
- Cam: Hey, I'm a pathologist, not an undertaker. I did the best that I could. Adjust his smile. Be my guest.
- Cam: This is why I hate funerals.
- Angela: This is why I love them.
- Booth: Just make sure when they put me in the ground I'm dead.
- Bones: Yeah, no problem.
- Booth: Maybe leave my body out for a few hours and check on me every once in awhile.
- Bones: I'd rather refrigerate you or you'd start to smell.
- Undertaker: I did acid in high school, and it's probably why I'm not a doctor
Mayhem on a Cross
The Girl in the Mask
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